Stag Ethics: When has it gone too far?

Oct 22, 2016 | Stag Party

It’s not unheard of for a wedding to be called off due to some terrible decision made by the groom-to-be at his stag party. There are two very important things to remember before heading off on the night that will keep you in the right state of mind and on the straight and narrow.

1. This is not your ‘last night of freedom’. That phrase came from ‘the olden days’ when people got married at 18 and had a house and three kids before they turned 20. You will have plenty of nights out with the lads in the future.

2. Getting married does not mean you have to be MORE faithful. You shouldn’t have been cheating or hooking up with strangers during the years you were dating and engaged, so your stag is not your ‘last night for a fling’. Your last night for a fling was years ago and this is just a fun night out.

stag ethics

Stag Ethics: Establish the rules

You and your fiancée should have a chat about your stag and her hen party beforehand and talk about anything that may arise. If you suspect the lads will get you stripper or you want to visit a strip club, talk to her about it and see how she feels.

Explore the fact that she might have a stripper turn up at her party and that it can’t be one rule for her and another rule for you.

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If she’s perfectly fine with you visiting a strip club, have a chat about what could happen there. Will she be fine with you tipping girls and getting a lap dance or would she prefer a ‘look but don’t touch’ policy.

Once you both know where you stand, have a talk with your best man and make sure he knows the limits.

Stag Ethics: The most common ‘do or don’t’ situations at a stag

stag ethics


A few rounds of poker or a trip to a casino is perfectly fine once you don’t blow the wedding money.

Smoking cigars

Your fiancée may not like you smoking, but it’s your stag party, so to hell with that!

stag ethics


Once it doesn’t lead to cheating, the loss of a limb or jail, it’s completely fine.

Flirting with random girls

While out at bars or pubs, your friends will inevitably tell girls that it’s your ‘last night of freedom,’ which usually results in a lot of attention from drunk women. A little light flirting is not the end of the world, as long as it doesn’t go beyond the banter.

stag ethics

Visiting strip clubs

Not as common as it used to be, but plenty of lads end up in strip clubs during their stags and your fiancée will probably be expecting it, even if she doesn’t like it. You and the guys may see watching and tipping strippers as harmless fun, but really this should come down to your fiancée’s view – if she considers it stepping over a line, it’s best not to do it because these things always come out. If she’s told you she’s against it and you do it anyway, you’ve gone too far.

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Getting a lapdance

Many grooms-to-be find their mates have bought them a lap dance for their stag party – but does that make it ok? Again, it comes down to your fiancée. If a random practically-naked girl in a bar was grinding against you, you could understand if she was upset and for many women, the feelings are the same when it comes to lap dances.

Chat to her about it beforehand and if she doesn’t like the idea, it’s probably best to hold off. At the end of the day, a five-minute dance is not worth losing your future wife.

stag ethics

Kissing a girl

This is cheating. This is bad. Don’t do it.

Sex (or other) with a prostitute

The situation has been known to come up with guys in the group thinking this is a great wedding gift for the groom-to-be, especially if you’ve decided on a stag abroad in somewhere like Amsterdam. This is cheating, plain and simple, so don’t do it.

Sex with a random girl

Just call off your wedding now.