Pros and Cons: Should you include people in the proposal?
Since the internet came along, no longer can you depend on the traditional ‘restaurant and ring’ proposal. Sure, a few guys with notions may have taken their girlfriends to Paris or New York to pop the question before that, but with the takeover of YouTube, videos of creative and personalised proposals are everywhere.
And it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
It’s become more acceptable for us guys to get a little sentimental and inventive when it comes to popping the question. From flash mobs to movie introductions, the proposal is no longer the stuffy, formal occasion it once was – not that there’s anything wrong with simplicity, but men now have the space to put their personalities in their proposal.
One popular trend is to include people in the proposal, and while this can be a nice gesture, it’s not for everyone. Here, we’ve weighed up the pros and cons, so you can make the right decision for you and your girlfriend.
To Include People in the Proposal: Pros
1. It’s a nice way of combining families
Once you and your girlfriend get engaged – and eventually married – your families will find themselves spending more time together, so why not build a good foundation now? Not only will her parents be pleased that you’ve included them in the proposal (future mother-in-law points!), your own parents will feel reassured that they’re not losing you to ‘her’. It’s also a nice way for both sets of parents to bond over such a great milestone.
2. It makes people a part of a special moment
Obviously, you and your girlfriend are the major players in this moment, but it’s a decision that also affects your family and friends. Having the people you love involved in your proposal makes them a part of a special moment that will change your lives. If your girlfriend is particularly close to her sisters or best friend, she’ll be thrilled to have them be a part of this.
3. It makes it an even bigger celebration
Let’s face it – parties are great. Drinking, eating and laughing with the people you’re closest to can only make a special occasion better, so having family and friends around or waiting in the wings while you pop the question means everyone can celebrate the amazing news immediately! It will also put a stop to this recent expectation that you’ll throw an engagement party after proposing.
To Include People in the Proposal: Cons
1. Secrets are hard to keep
Sometimes keeping the big moment a secret can be a little tricky when you involve others. Some people, especially family and close friends, may have a hard time keeping the news of your proposal to themselves. In general, the fewer number of people you confide in, the less likely word is to get out. So, if you need to work with a family member to plan your proposal, choose your accomplice wisely. It’s important to work with someone who won’t crumble and spill the beans.
2. The moment can lose intimacy
Once you’ve asked and she’s (hopefully) accepted, you two will want to linger in your own little love bubble for a while — not possible if colleagues, cousins, or perfect strangers are getting in your faces to congratulate you.
3. Your girlfriend could feel anxious
Though you may be so passionate about your future bride that you want to shout your proposal for the entire world to hear, there’s a good chance she’d prefer you make the engagement a just-the-two-of-you occasion. It could be hard for her to really enjoy the moment or get emotional if she feels like she’s in a spotlight.
But whatever you decide to do, having your girlfriend’s best interests at heart means you can’t go wrong – even if you technically do…