Can a Bride plan the Stag Party?
First of all, if your bride-to-be is offering to throw you a stag party (and not because she wants to control what you get up to) then congratulations, you’ve hit the jackpot.
Yes, it sucks that your mates aren’t bothered expending the energy required to throw you a stag party, but trust us, you wouldn’t be the first person that happened to. We know grooms who have organised their own stag do, fathers who have organised their sons’ parties and even female groomsmen who had to take the reins because the best man was a moron.
If your fiancée has noticed the lack of stag partying and has offered to organise it, then we recommend treating her to a steak dinner. From your perspective, there’s no real reason she shouldn’t unless you think she’d plan a really boring night. However, we would say that no matter how stressed out you are about wedding prep, your fiancée is probably five-times more stressed, so having to organise a stag party as well can put unwanted pressure on her shoulders.
Stag Party Fail: Possible reasons why your friends have dropped the ball
Your best man was a terrible choice
He’s your oldest friend or maybe your brother, but he is the least reliable person in the entire world and has predictably failed to plan your stag do.
Everyone thinks someone else is organising it
The best man thinks your brother is organising it and everyone else in the world presumes the best man has everything under control.
No one wants to organise it and is playing dumb
Everyone in your wedding party is lazy and no one wants the stress of planning and collecting money.
You live abroad
You arrive back in Ireland three days before the wedding, so everyone there has assumed you won’t want a stag and everyone in the country you’re living in presumes the guys in Ireland are organising one.
Possible reactions to your bride offering to plan the stag party
“You’re the best fiancée in the world!”
You are overwhelmed by the fact she’s willing to organise the event and considering the parties she’s thrown in the past, you know it’s going to be amazing.
“You already have way too much to do.”
You know she’s stressed with wedding prep, but you also know she’s your best hope in getting things organised. In that case, ask her to talk to your best man under the pretence of needing dates or asking him to keep you safe. If anyone can guilt the lads into getting their acts together, it’s that amazing lady.
“Man, I look lame.”
You don’t want her to organise it, but you also don’t want her to think that your friends all secretly hate you so you lie and pretend they’re arranging a surprise stag.
How to get your groomsmen to organise a stag party
If you don’t want your bride-to-be getting involved and you realise lying is just going to backfire, your only options are to ask the lads if they’ll please throw you a party or just do it yourself.
Speak to your best man about it or if you already know he’s a waste of time, approach your brother or another close friend. If you’re worried about looking pathetic or causing bad feeling, there are plenty of ways you can broach the subject in a subtle way.
- [Your Fiancée’s Name Here] wants to know the date of the stag, so she can arrange some last-minute wedding prep around it.
- [Your Fiancée’s Name Here] just found out her Hen Party will be on [X Date] – do we have a date yet?
- Oh, just so you know [Your Fiancée’s Name Here] has OKed going to a strip club during the stag. Do you know what the plan is yet?
- I know you guys have a lot going on, so I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help with the stag?
Or if you prefer the more direct approach…
- Have you guys seriously failed to organise a stag party for me? Seriously?
- [Your Fiancée’s Name Here] thinks you guys aren’t organising me a stag, but I assured her you weren’t the WORST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. That was the correct answer, right?
At the end of the day, if your groomsmen haven’t organised a stag for you, it’s probably down to a lack of communication and more than likely a little laziness. If you don’t want your bride-to-be organising the event, just say it to the guys and they’ll get right on it.