Best Man Problems: What to do if your best man isn’t pulling his weight
All wedding rules suggest that best men should be chosen based on (a) their relationship to you and (b) their ability to actually be a help during the wedding. Many grooms say that it should only be about the friendship, but those are usually the grooms who end up with best man problems and shouldering a lot more responsibility during wedding prep than they should have to.
Yes, ideally your best man should be your favourite brother or oldest friend, but that person is supposed to be your right hand during the wedding and also the person who organises your stag party. You may think you can give your irresponsible best friend the title of Best Man and then delegate his tasks to the other groomsmen, but beware…
We’re not saying you should pick your best man based on their organisational skills and LinkedIn profile; we’re just saying the guy
who can never be reached unless there’s the promise of copious amounts of alcohol probably isn’t a great choice. However, if you do decide to choose the unreliable person or your supposed ‘safe’ pick has turned out to be a nightmare, you are going to have more on your plate – it’s easier to just pick up the slack yourself than fire your best man.
Here are some tips for solving potential best man problems…
Best Man Problems #1: The tuxes
He’s the main person helping you choose what you and the groomsmen will be wearing. If all the suits are being bought or rented from one place, he’s supposed to look after payment and collection. This is one thing that could actually ruin your wedding if screwed up, so bite the bullet and hand this job to someone else from the start.
Best Man Problems #2: Stag party
If he’s the kind of person whose main reason for accepting the job of best man was based solely on organising your stag do, you’re probably not coming home in one piece. If this is the case, set out a list of things you want to do/avoid and pair him up with a responsible groomsman. It won’t solve all your problems, but it will lessen the chance of arrests and/or deaths.
Best Man Problems #3: Organise the groomsmen
The best man is the chief coordinator for the groomsmen, ensuring everyone is where they’re supposed to be at the right time and in some cases, organising accommodation for them. Handing this responsibility over to a groomsman will possibly leave a bad taste, so you’re better off covering this one yourself.
Best Man Problems #4: Minding the ring
Give him the rings AT THE ALTER. Don’t take risks.
Best Man Problems #5: Wedding jitters
If he’s unreliable and a big joker, chances are this guy will not handle your last-minute cold feet and may even encourage you to jump out the window. Make sure you have at least one good friend or brother in the groom’s party and head straight for them when nerves kick in.
Best Man Problems #6: Money
In many cases, the best man will be given separate envelopes of cash so he can take care of any payments that need to be made on your wedding day. If there’s any chance he will (a) get too drunk to remember, (b) lose the money or (c) spend the money on more alcohol, just do this one yourself or draft your father in.
Best Man Problems#7: The speech
Give him a list of things he needs to say in his speech and then assign a groomsman to make sure it’s written and that it’s safe.
Remember there are children and grandmothers in the crowd…
Best Man Problems #8: Everything and anything you asked him to do
Let him keep the title, but delegate the jobs to another groomsman. Is it unfair? Yes, but firing him could damage your friendship and it’s just not worth it.
Just remember to give the groomsman helping you out something to say thank you…