When your Best Man is a Best Woman

Jul 22, 2016 | Best Man

Weddings are changing, with couples opting to make the day special to them and their tastes rather than following strict traditional rules. Today female best men and groomsmen are becoming more common and including a close female friend in your wedding party is no longer a big deal. Still, it’s not as straightforward as simply picking a guy to do the job – here are the most common questions and worries a groom may have when choosing a best woman.

best woman

Best Woman Worry #1: What if my best friend is a girl?

Lucky you – she can translate what your future wife is actually saying to you during the years to come!

As regards makes her a groomsman, go for it. It’s not uncommon and if no one has any major objections, there’s no reason not to have her in the groom’s party.

In some cases, a groom’s female friend is placed in the bridal party, but ideally she should be on your side if she’s one of your best friends. It’s a fine solution if the bride has a big problem with her being included, but do try to push for your side. If anything, your friend will probably be more comfortable in your party than with a group of women she probably doesn’t know.

best woman

Best Woman Worry #2: The reaction of the bride

It’s understandable that the bride may have some reservations, although if your female friend is close enough for you to include her in the wedding, it can’t be a shock. It’s not like she could have missed that close friendship over the years.

Whether she’s worried about picture symmetry or she just doesn’t like/trust this female friend of yours, it’s likely that this won’t be a straightforward choice and may require some bargaining and compromise.

stag do activity directory

If it’s really important to you, stand strong – your bride needs to accept this friendship. However, if the girl is an ex, it’s probably best just to drop this battle completely.

Getting married means merging your lives and it’s not fair that you have to ditch a good friend for no real reason but her gender. Your wedding party should be made up of your favorite people in the world and your bride needs to recognise that if it’s important to you.

best woman

Best Woman Worry #3: What do I call her?

Whatever you want! Groomsman, groomsperson, groomswoman, yer wan – it really doesn’t matter.

Best Woman Worry #4: What should she wear?

There are a few options here.

  1. She wears a suit or tux that matches the other groomsmen
  2. She wears a bridesmaid dress, but stands on the groom’s side. Bridesmaid dresses are often colour-matched in some small way to the groomsmen, so she won’t be completely out of place.
  3. She wears a dress in the same colour as the groomsmen’s suits.

If your bride has a close male friend she can include in her bridal party, your groomswoman can just wear a bridesmaid dress and he can wear a groomsman suit, giving balance to photos.

best woman

Best Woman Worry #5: What kind of gift?

Cufflinks are a common gift for groomsmen, so if she’s wearing a suit, include her in that. If you’ve decided she should wear a dress instead, opt for a necklace. This is typically what the bridesmaids are given so it fits in nicely.

best woman

Best Woman Worry #6: I don’t want to cause problems

At the end of the day, it’s your wedding too. If your female friend is an ex or is constantly flirting with you, then objections from your bride, family or friends are probably warranted. However, if your bride is just jealous because your friend is a girl or family members are critical because it’s ‘not traditional’ that’s no reason to exclude someone you care about.
Getting married means merging your lives and it’s not fair that you have to ditch a good friend for no real reason but her gender. Your wedding party should be made up of your favorite people in the world and your bride needs to recognise that if it’s important to you.

honeymoon package directory